Into Motherhood and Beyond...: Childcare

Did it. Went back to work this week. Turns out the thought of going back to work was much worse than the reality.

It could have went smoother, Joel was up in the wee hours crying and fussing because he is teething. After 2 1/2 hours of soothing and shushing, a dose of nurofen and a nappy change the only thing that got him over to sleep was 4ozs in his bottle. He hasn't had a night time bottles since the discovery of the magical powers of supper on 12th July! My husband was great, taking the lead as he was conscious it was my first day back at work the next day but even so it was after 5am before we all got back to sleep!

Joel usually wakes at about 6.30am. I had planned to get up with him and have some play time before heading to work. But due to his unsettled night he had the cheek to sleep in! At 7.30 I was ready to get to work but anxious to leave without seeing Joel. I decided to have a slice of toast and a cup of tea and if he still wasn't awake I would leave.

I ate my toast and drank my tea veerrryy sllooowwwlllyyy.

At 8.10 he woke -hurray! Phil hopped out of bed and the pair of them gave me a lift to work so I wasn't late on my first day!

When I arrived at work I was disappointed by the lack of gossip, and soon realised that everything was pretty much the same. Same co workers, same customers, same stinky microwave, same issues being discussed at management meetings.

I was nervous about returning to my job, feeling a bit lost as I was sure I had forgotten everything! There was no 'back to work' settling in period put in place, I was simply left to my own devices! But I buddied myself up with a coworker to shadow for a while as I got up to date with any new guidance and I was soon in the swing of things!

The highlight of my first day back at work had to be when a coworker, an older man in his late 50s/early 60s who swears like a big sweary thing came to tell me there was a box of biscuits to share. When I turned from my computer to speak to him he had two Cadburys chocolate fingers sticking out his nose! I haven't laughed so much in ages. And yes, he ate them.

The day flew in, I had two hot cups of tea, a relaxed lunch break and good aul catch up with everyone.

Joel had a lovely day with his granda and I came home to a smiley baby and a big pot of carrot and chickpea soup with wheaten bread and cheese. Lovely!

Got this photo while I was at work. Joel sleeping on the swings in the park.

Work has its perks! Hot cup of tea, drank right to the end. God I love tea!

My advice to all my friends facing the gloom of going back to work is that the thought of it is much worse than doing it! Think of all the tea!!

It has happened, August is here and I am due to start back to work ON THURSDAY.

As I typed those words my stomach flipped, swishing like a washing machine, and in that washing machine there are many emotions swirling about.

First, excitement at a change of routine, a bit like going back to school after the summer holidays again, and in the same vain I would like to get a new bag to pack my diary to be super organised and to pack my lunch - oooh lunch. I am so looking forward to having a lunch break, a solid half an hour dedicated to getting my head showered and drinking a hot cup of tea right to the end. It'll be nice to have a chat with workmates about, well anything! It will be nice to have conversations about subjects other then the colour of poop and sleep routines and looking at the computer screen will be a welcome change from the constant loop of Baby TV. It will be nice to get the brain ticking again too.
As I think about all these positives I am then hit with a wave of guilt. Am I allowed to look forward to going back to work, does that make me a terrible mother?? Poor Joel's wee world is going to change, rather than being with his mummy or daddy all day he will have to get used to new people and new routines.
And then I remember, wait! I don't want to go back to work, I don't want to leave Joel! He is so much fun at the minute and learning so much everyday. He tries to clap his hands, he hold's up his arms and does a big gummy smily to say 'yayyyyyyy', he has great conversations with his facial expressions, eyebrows up and furrowed, cheeky smile and big wide smile. How boring will the day be without Joel to chat to!!??

Before getting overwhelmed by all these feelings and spiraling into a nervous breakdown I take a deep breath and realise that I'm in a pretty good situation. How many mothers have the benefit of returning to work feeling pretty relaxed about the Childcare in place for their child?

Finding the right childcare is a difficult task. There are a variety of choices out there, all of which I considered and none without its downside.

Day Nurseries
I am in a strange position in that my background is in training in the childcare sector in Belfast, and Belfast is a very small place. I have come across some outstanding practice and some awful practice and the ghost of this awful practice has haunted any viewing of the day nurseries I have been to see. Day nurseries provide a reliable service and are open most days of the year. They provide solid policies and procedures and are regularly inspected. They provide the opportunity for socialising with other children and learning to share. A great option, however I couldn't seem to fine the right one to work for us.

Childminder

A cosier and more homely option compared to the more institutionalised day nursery but perhaps less reliable? What do you do if your childminder is sick? There is such a variance in the service provided and the prices charged I found it quite difficult to navigate this sector! I am based in Northern Ireland so I found this website useful, NICMA. However the outstanding issue I had with childminders is the amount of time Joel would be spending in the car each day. Many childminders I spoke to looked after children who are a range of ages and spent much of the middle part of the day doing school pick ups. I don't like the thought of Joel being bundled in the car for an hour or so a day!

Perfect match

I found Joel's Fairy Godmother, I mean to say Gothmother. Tracey has just returned from maternity leave and has a lovely baby boy only 8 weeks older than Joel. She has stacks of experience in day nurseries and working with families over many years. The major bonus is that she is coming to us, she will be looking after Joel in his own environment and bringing baby Morgan with her so Joel will have a wee friend.

Dad
What would we do without daddies? My dad will be looking after Joel one day a week. Joel and his Granda have a lovely relationship, he is retired and has a key to the flat and so is almost part of the furniture. Joel recognises him as one of the main people in his life and is totally relaxed when left in his care. Any time Joel is unsettled Granda comes to the rescue, he scoops him up and takes him for a walk chatting quietly in his ear, he shows him his shadow, his refection in puddles, the birds in the garden, the leaves on the trees, he has a real calming presence. Plus, the pair of them are both partial to an afternoon nap!

Things I will miss.....