Reclaim Your Handbag!

On the 5th Jan 2013 many things changed.  I became a mother.  There was no more time for any of this..

 Don't tell me you don't have the urge to colour in sometimes?  Don't act like you're above it.  This is the best £3.00 I ever spent.  I'm sad I don't have time for concentrating on colouring inside the lines again.

 The blurry nature of this picture works to my favour.  I'm not very good at knitting but I enjoy it.  I don't have the time, or the attention span for it anymore.

I love tidying the house, pulling down the blinds and lighting lovely scented candles.  Now I am scared the scent from the candles will be too much for his wee nose.  Or irrationally scared that a candle will fall on him and set him on fire.  Goodbye cosy candles!


Two years ago, I was a very lucky girl and my lovely daddy bought me this...

Thats right, its a Mulberry.  Basque in its all holy glow.  I am not a label-y person but this bag is wonderful.  At first I was scared to leave the house with it.  I have never owned something so expensive and I was terrified someone would swipe it from my grasp.  I braved taking it out for a spin christmas shopping in Newtownards and I swear people treated me differently.  The only downside of this bag is that the all magical beauty of this bag makes everything else I own look shit.

When Joel was born my Mulberry no longer worked.  There was no room for purse, phone, keys, nappies, wipes, cream, changing mat, spare clothes and dummies.  I does not fit comfortably on the handle of the pram.  Oh no, I am not giving up on you lovely Mulberry.

This is a Ruby and Ginger Nappy Purse.  Isn't she lovely?  I love the bold print design and it's handy solution to bag overload.  You see, in this neat little purse there is a fold up washable changing amt, a container for wipes and space for 2-3 nappies AND a handy wee pocket for cream.  Great, because I never want to know the damage Metanium would do to a lovely Mulberry handbag.  

Look at the order it had created.  I am one happy girl.  What is the florescent green thing in the bag you ask?  My diary, I chose that colour so I am never stuck hunting in my bag for it.  I like order.

Back to work, done!

Did it. Went back to work this week. Turns out the thought of going back to work was much worse than the reality. 

It could have went smoother, Joel was up in the wee hours crying and fussing because he is teething. After 2 1/2 hours of soothing and shushing, a dose of nurofen and a nappy change the only thing that got him over to sleep was 4ozs in his bottle. He hasn't had a night time bottles since the discovery of the magical powers of supper on 12th July! My husband was great, taking the lead as he was conscious it was my first day back at work the next day but even so it was after 5am before we all got back to sleep!

  Joel usually wakes at about 6.30am. I had planned to get up with him and have some play time before heading to work. But due to his unsettled night he had the cheek to sleep in! At 7.30 I was ready to get to work but anxious to leave without seeing Joel. I decided to have a slice of toast and a cup of tea and if he still wasn't awake I would leave. 

I ate my toast and drank my tea veerrryy sllooowwwlllyyy. 

At 8.10 he woke -hurray! Phil hopped out of bed and the pair of them gave me a lift to work so I wasn't late on my first day! 

When I arrived at work I was disappointed by the lack of gossip, and soon realised that everything was pretty much the same. Same co workers, same customers, same stinky microwave, same issues being discussed at management meetings. 

I was nervous about returning to my job, feeling a bit lost as I was sure I had forgotten everything! There was no 'back to work' settling in period put in place, I was simply left to my own devices! But I buddied myself up with a coworker to shadow for a while as I got up to date with any new guidance and I was soon in the swing of things! 

The highlight of my first day back at work had to be when a coworker, an older man in his late 50s/early 60s who swears like a big sweary thing came to tell me there was a box of biscuits to share. When I turned from my computer to speak to him he had two Cadburys chocolate fingers sticking out his nose! I haven't laughed so much in ages. And yes, he ate them. 

The day flew in, I had two hot cups of tea, a relaxed lunch break and good aul catch up with everyone. 

Joel had a lovely day with his granda and I came home to a smiley baby and a big pot of carrot and chickpea soup with wheaten bread and cheese. Lovely!

Got this photo while I was at work. Joel sleeping on the swings in the park. 

Work has its perks! Hot cup of tea, drank right to the end. God I love tea!

My advice to all my friends facing the gloom of going back to work is that the thought of it is much worse than doing it! Think of all the tea!!

Back to Work Anxiety..

It has happened, August is here and I am due to start back to work ON THURSDAY.

As I typed those words my stomach flipped, swishing like a washing machine, and in that washing machine there are many emotions swirling about.

First, excitement at a change of routine, a bit like going back to school after the summer holidays again, and in the same vain I would like to get a new bag to pack my diary to be super organised and to pack my lunch - oooh lunch.  I am so looking forward to having a lunch break, a solid half an hour dedicated to getting my head showered and drinking a hot cup of tea right to the end.  It'll be nice to have a chat with workmates about, well anything!  It will be nice to have conversations about subjects other then the colour of poop and sleep routines and looking at the computer screen will be a welcome change from the constant loop of Baby TV.  It will be nice to get the brain ticking again too.
As I think about all these positives I am then hit with a wave of guilt.  Am I allowed to look forward to going back to work, does that make me a terrible mother??  Poor Joel's wee world is going to change, rather than being with his mummy or daddy all day he will have to get used to new people and new routines.
And then I remember, wait!  I  don't want to go back to work, I don't want to leave Joel!  He is so much fun at the minute and learning so much everyday.  He tries to clap his hands, he hold's up his arms and does a big gummy smily to say 'yayyyyyyy', he has great conversations with his facial expressions, eyebrows up and furrowed, cheeky smile and big wide smile. How boring will the day be without Joel to chat to!!??

Before getting overwhelmed by all these feelings and spiraling into a nervous breakdown I take a deep breath and realise that I'm in a pretty good situation.  How many mothers have the benefit of returning to work feeling pretty relaxed about the Childcare in place for their child?

Finding the right childcare is a difficult task.  There are a variety of choices out there, all of which I considered and none without its downside.

Day Nurseries
I am in a strange position in that my background is in training in the childcare sector in Belfast, and Belfast is a very small place.  I have come across some outstanding practice and some awful practice and the ghost of this awful practice has haunted any viewing of the day nurseries I have been to see. Day nurseries provide a reliable service and are open most days of the year. They provide solid policies and procedures and are regularly inspected.  They provide the opportunity for socialising with other children and learning to share.  A great option, however I couldn't seem to fine the right one to work for us.

Childminder

A cosier and more homely option compared to the more institutionalised day nursery but perhaps less reliable? What do you do if your childminder is sick? There is such a variance in the service provided and the prices charged I found it quite difficult to navigate this sector!  I am based in Northern Ireland so I found this website useful, NICMA. However the outstanding issue I had with childminders is the amount of time Joel would be spending in the car each day. Many childminders I spoke to looked after children who are a range of ages and spent much of the middle part of the day doing school pick ups. I don't like the thought of Joel being bundled in the car for an hour or so a day!

Perfect match

I found Joel's Fairy Godmother, I mean to say Gothmother. Tracey has just returned from maternity leave and has a lovely baby boy only 8 weeks older than Joel. She has stacks of experience in day nurseries and working with families over many years. The major bonus is that she is coming to us, she will be looking after Joel in his own environment and bringing baby Morgan with her so Joel will have a wee friend. 

Dad
What would we do without daddies? My dad will be looking after Joel one day a week.  Joel and his Granda have a lovely relationship, he is retired and has a key to the flat and so is almost part of the furniture.  Joel recognises him as one of the main people in his life and is totally relaxed when left in his care.  Any time Joel is unsettled Granda comes to the rescue, he scoops him up and takes him for a walk chatting quietly in his ear, he shows him his shadow, his refection in puddles, the birds in the garden, the leaves on the trees, he has a real calming presence.  Plus, the pair of them are both partial to an afternoon nap!

Things I will miss.....

Lazy days

Lunch time together

Watching him sleep

New Discoveries!

New Discoveries!

Things Joel will gain...

Lots of lovely Granda time

Granda will have to get used to boke!

A new best friend in baby Morgan.

Super Cool Mummy Club!

So I decided to be brave and invite the local mummies in for a cuppa.  Well I did it the cowards way, I added them all as friends on Facebook and sent a group message to save my red face knocking on doors.  

It's funny how much you go about living your life without noticing your neighbours. Everyone is busy going to and from work, going out.

I have great neighbours that I have got to known well over the past 5 years,  Jenny won't mind me saying that she's been known to be in my house in her jammies scribbling down the password to steal my wifi and I've been on her doorstep knocking for milk on Christmas Day!! Gone are the normal social boundaries, but isn't it great to have neighbours you can call upon anytime?
Jenny is very open about her not-so-easy experiences during motherhood and tiny premature baby Erin has thrived into a stunning wild red headed clever clogs chomping at the bit to start nursery school in September.  Even more amazing than that is that Jenny, who works night shift, is hitting the books again herself to position herself in line for her dream job.  This is a big commitment, a 4 year plan of study but did I mention that the lovely ladies on my street are all superheros?

Teresa and I have a very special cake relationship , I bring her the leftover cake from my house, she brings me the leftover cake from her house! This girl is like family, I don't even bother tidying the house for her visiting anymore! How Teresa EVER gets out of the house, I don't know, she has two beautiful boys under the age of 18months!!  Anyone who can manage that must be a superhero!  I know her boys and my Joel will be running about the park together soon and we will be sipping 'tea' (wine) from our flask watching them play!

Theres a lovely security in knowing the people who live around you and knowing that you can call on them in an emergency, although lets hope that never happens!
And then there are the other mummies in the street,  girls who I have not had a relationship with before but who I added to my tea and biscuits night invite in the hope to get to know.  As it turns out, these ladies also have superpowers!

Caroline I have chatted briefly to a few times as her husband taught me how to drive ( a brief experience before he packed in the driving instructing game altogether, he promises it wasn't because I was awful, I choose to believe him). Caroline had a beautiful tiny baby Phoebe only 4 weeks ago.  I'm secretly convinced that she has super powers as baby Phoebe was 4 weeks early and her husband had to go back to work very soon after she got home from hospital, Caroline managed to arrive at my house on time, NOT in her pyjamas and didn't yawn the whole time she was here, although I know she must be extremely sleep deprived.

There is a girl who lives opposite me and to be honest I never noticed she had a baby until Joel arrived and I was more alert to noticing other babies and mums.  In fact the baby across the road was nearly one when Joel arrived, until then he was invisible to me!!  I have never got speaking to Lynsey but Caroline extended the invitation to her also, after all, the more the merrier!  Lynsey's son is just over a year old and she is back at work.  I am due back to work in 2 weeks (*sob*) and I sometimes wonder how I am going to manage it.  Lynsey, in true H.Street superhero style, makes it seem do-able.

And mystery neighbour across the road had tiny baby Alexander just over a week ago.  I had never spoken to her before Joel arrived but one day while taking him out in his car seat she came over for a peek and revealed the exciting news that she was expecting a new arrival.  We have chatted in the street often since but I have never asked her name!  I invited her over for tea with everyone else that night but she never made it - and who could blame her - she is probably still in that stage where she doesn't know what time of day it is!  Hopefully she will make the next tea evening as it has been agreed that we will make an effort to make it a monthly date.

I really enjoyed having my lovely neighbours over last night.  It has to be said that our common thread is motherhood and we spent a good part of the evening talking about our babies and our experiences in pregnancy and labour.  We drank tea, and maybe some Prosecco and laughed.  The only downside is all the leftover buns in my kitchen....ahem...

 
Go on people, reach out and get to know your neighbours!  Its fun!

Our Mate Tesco

You can mark a true friend by who sticks by you through the good times and the bad, those who continue to make the effort when your life changes.  I have been blessed with many good friends but none quite as handy as good old Tesco.
Tesco has been there for the reliable weekly shop as well as to satisfy the hangover cravings.  Nothing cures a hangover like a trip to Tesco for a strawberry milkshake and a chocolate croissant.
But Tesco really came through for us with their clever club card rewards system.
In April 2009 Phil and I got engaged and in May 2010 we got married.  Although we had mega support from the bank of mum and dad, the miscellaneous costs added up.  Tesco was there to help. With their Clubcard exchange we were able to get wedding rings.  Clubcard points are earned when shopping and can be exchanged for 4 times their value in some other stores, Wowsers! We exchanged our for Goldsmith's voucher and were able to get wedding rings!

In May 2012 we found out we were expecting. Although very exciting news, I was not ideally timed as I had just moved jobs and as a result was not entitled to maternity pay.  So mega saving had to begin to afford to be off with baby Joel, I really wanted to stay off with him for 6 months, and mega spending had to be done because, well, babies are expensive.

Now don't get me wrong, we were very sensible in our approach, I am a believer in the value of second hand items, waiting out there to be loved and used again.  We got our pram second hand and managed to borrow a few of the short term items such as baby bath from our generous family and friends and of course it was their huge generosity again, showering Joel with gifts when he arrived.  He is 7 months and still kitted out with clothing!
We live in a flat which needed a bit of construction to be baby ready and when baby Joel finally had a room Tesco provided the cot bed with its generous Clubcard exchange scheme.  The vouchers double up in store to purchase certain products from Tesco direct.  We were able to splash out and invest in a cot bed that would last the long run, all paid for with vouchers!

Joel was only 7lbs when he was born but has grown like a wild thing.  He is destined to be a big rugby player ( captain of the Ireland Rugby Team and no less, says Granda ) and at only 7 months has outgrown his first car seat, never mind too heavy for me to carry him in it anymore!  On Saturday it was Tesco to the rescue again, clubcard points exchanged and a group 1-2-3 car seat got for big baby Joel. 

The Clubcard Exchange is so good it almost feels like stealing!! 

So Tesco has been a reliable friend, there through our big life changes. But Tesco, any chance you could sort us out with a  big house with a garden???

Bucket List? Challenge Accepted!!

Moneysupermarket.com have challenged bloggers to consider their bucket list, a challenge I have accepted as beside from the incentive of a cash prize, theres nothing I like more than a good list!

Recently my life has changed more than I can ever imagine, with the arrival of my beautiful baby boy Joel time has become more precious and priorities have been reassessed.

I have never been the adventurous kind.  I have friends who wish to travel the world, jump from planes and have successful high powered careers.  Not for me.  I have crossed worldwide travel off my list.  My husband and I went to Hong kong and Thailand for our honeymoon, an experience I hold dear to my heart but also a experience where I discovered that my pale irish skin cannot cope with temperatures above 20 C and mosquitos enjoy my blood.  Thats a tick beside travel.  Beautiful memories.
I have been invited to join friends skydiving, but to be honest I am happier spending my money on going out for dinner with friends, going home to my castle (my cosy flat) and snuggling up next to my husband.  I am a home bird, happiest surrounded by my family.

One thing I always said to my other half is that i wanted to see Paris before we hand children.  I wanted to see the Eiffel Tower, eat pan au chocolat and spend hours in art galleries people watching and painting watching.

When we found out we were expecting a baby Phil quickly looked up flights to Paris, places to stay.  But we never went, we had to create a 'Baby Fund' and plan to make our impractical flat baby friendly with a little wall moving!

It has to be said I was sad that I never got my trip to Paris and when Joel arrived I began to count the things I hadn't made time to do.  I remember one night a friend posted on Facebook about her and her other half sitting in the car half way up the mountain with a flask of tea watching shooting stars with a view over Belfast.  It struck me that I rarely did anything impulsive like that, and now when would I have the opportunity with sleep routines to stick to and the military packing operation that accompanied any outing.

But now my priorities have changed, My bucket list consists of memories I wish to create for my family.  Moments to look back on to make the heart happy and actually many of those things don't cost a lot!

1. Family holidays.  I want this to happen every year, some of my happiest memories are with all my extended family crammed in a house in Donegal or in a caravan in Ballycastle.  Days spent at the beach come rain or shine and traipsing back to the house at the end of the day exhausted, buckets filled with stones, cheeks stinging from the sea wind, wolfing down fish and chips with salt and vinegar and staying up late playing board games with my granny and cousins, falling asleep where I was sat as I didn't want to miss any craic.  These are the kinds of memories I want for my son.
This is a tradition we started this year, when Joel was 5 months old and where he cut his first tooth.  The reason it is on my budget bucket list is because I am a lucky girl with a generous mum who treated us this year.  This is a tradition I will make a priority and I will save a little each month to make it happen.

2. Spend more time outside.  We live in a flat with no garden but I want Joel to have plenty of outside time, fresh air and experience nature, growing vegetables.  I have plenty of park space nearby and a community garden within walking distance, theres no excuse for not doing this.

2 1/2. Conquer my fear of wasps.

3.  Make new friends.  A silly statement to make at age 27?  I have a great circle of friends but have always been shy.  Being a new mum has forced me to get out and about and independent. Last week I bit the bullet and invited all the new mums on my street to a coffee date at my house.  I'm looking forward to it, and after all friendship doesn't cost a penny but isn't it the most valuable thing? (True but a very cheesy statement that made me cringe a little writing it..)

4. One day to teach Joel to ride a bike, to have that moment when I am running after him keeping him steady and then letting go, and watching him wobble off, alone.

5. Learn to crochet.  I have a Christmas project in mind..

6. Learn how to use a sewing machine and how to quilt.  Sewing machine borrowed from sister in law, and signed up to a quilting class beginning 9th September!

7. Star gaze at the top of the mountain.

I have started to make steps to ticking off my bucket list, when you have a baby you realise you don't have a minute to spare and so I have no learnt to act upon my list rather than leave it to later.  And crocheting?  Well, I'll just have to find that elusive extra hour in the day.


And now for the extravagant list, well it still contains my Parisian wish.  This extravagant wish is on the back burner behind childcare costs, mortgage payments, car and petrol costs.

1. Go to Paris.  But this time the wish is different.  It includes a petit enfant Joel and perhaps a trip to Euro Disney.  


So Ruth, Aisling and Claire, I challenge you to complete your bucket list, budget and extravagant.